Question: Where does conflict come from? Answer: Normal, unconflicted life. Building on Felstiner, Abel, and Sarat’s classic article describing the genesis of disputes, Naming, Blaming, Claiming, this overgrown blog post uses memoirs to analyze how people develop “perceived injurious experiences” (PIEs), some of which become grievances (when they blame others), and some of which become … Continue reading Slices of Conflict in Life
That’s the title of an article in the New York Times. It reports that “[s]ame-sex couples, on average, resolve conflict more constructively than different-sex couples, and with less animosity, studies have shown.” It cites researchers suggesting ideas that our field generally recommends including: Using humor to defuse anger Staying calm Being mindful of the other’s … Continue reading Gay Couples Can Teach Straight People a Thing or Two About Arguing
My recent piece about introversion seems to have struck a nerve. It stimulated the most – and most intense – reactions to any of my posts. Several people emphatically identified with it, saying that they felt that it was about them. I’m sure a lot of other readers felt that way too. Introversion is a … Continue reading Coming Out as Introverted
Do you often feel introverted, generally preferring to be in a small group of trusted friends than in a large gathering, for example? It turns out that there are a lot of people who feel that way. Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, cites studies … Continue reading Introversion, the Legal Profession, and Dispute Resolution
In 2018, I wrote a post, Make Video History, describing my experiences creating videos – especially oral history videos – and encouraging others to do so. (In those quaint old days, I included a link to zoom, figuring that most people weren’t familiar with it.) In the 1980s, I conducted oral history interviews of my … Continue reading Making Video History, Revisited
This post is prompted by an article by Washington Post columnist Paul Waldman, We’re Still Asking the Wrong Question about Biden and Ukraine. He writes: For once, can we confront a foreign policy challenge without obsession over whether the president is being “weak” or “strong”? … In any foreign policy challenge, understanding what goes into … Continue reading Which is Better: To Be Strong or Smart?
This post provides excerpts from an op-ed by Neal Katyal, one of Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer’s former clerks. Mr. Katyal describes Justice Breyer’s humility, recognition of his own biases, and openness to considering others’ points of view. There was, in short, a constitutional humility about Breyer. He didn’t pretend to know the answer to every … Continue reading Humble Listening on the Bench
To resolve a dispute, one or more people need to change their minds. Negotiation and mediation involve techniques to help people do just that. Obviously, this can be very difficult. People have reasons for their positions and they may not change them easily. This post focuses on two approaches for changing minds, which are highlighted … Continue reading What I’m Reading – Changing Minds
Peter T. Coleman, professor of psychology and education at Columbia University, an award-winning scholar and a prolific author, recently published his latest book, The Way Out: How to Overcome Toxic Polarization. He holds a joint appointment at Teachers College and The Earth Institute. In his spare time, he is the director of the Morton Deutsch … Continue reading Peter Coleman’s Outstanding Evidence-Based Work on Reducing Polarization
Jim Stark and Doug Frenkel just became scholars-in-residence with the International Academy of Mediators, following in the footsteps of Hal Abramson, Lela Love, and Dwight Golann. I have appreciated Doug and Jim’s work – actually of all the SiRs – and this post describes some of the things I appreciate about it. It also includes … Continue reading Appreciation of Doug Frenkel and Jim Stark